waiting for the rapture.

Embrace impermanence.

What has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind involves a slice from my personal life. The past three months have been a tremendously painful period, feelings of empathy mixed with remorse and guilt. The impulse to burst into tears would hit me sporadically throughout any other day.

Well, I’ve often gave a thought about this and that the only real salve for this is time, but we all have long memories. We’re not very good at forgiving, and nothing ever heals all the way once it’s broken.

But it’s been three months. How do I even reclaim my own sense of acceptance and peace?

Ended my last night at Delaware with a bang. Threw a party right after the Indian River High School guys were done with their football game against Delmar Wildcats where they won last Friday night. Damn my house was really the place to be at that night. I can’t imagine it happened, really. Cos it’s fucking crazy to have a party the night before you’re leaving! Ah yes, I left Delaware the next morning at 9 bloody am. With a heavy heart no less. :(

We were really hustling man. It’s so insane. Got up in the morning, when I was completely not sober. Cleaned the goddamn house. And I just had to be an ass bitch and left without paying the rent haha and then took a 5 hour bus ride to NYC. Travelled to Queens to get our luggages and then went to the airport and flew off to the West Coast. So currently I’m at San Fransisco. And I’ll be flying back home tonight and all I can say is, I’m not ready to go home. And that sucks.